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Dying Alive

Updated: Jan 19

(not all of you will resonate with this fear, this is for those that are like me)

Some days you’re meant to meditate, and some days you’re meant to remember you’re human

These days come to remind you that you’re actually afraid of being fully Spirit, because you are afraid to die.

Even talking about death scares me. I’ve been afraid of it ever since I was little. I don’t remember having conversations or anything like that with ghosts, but I always knew they were present.

And their presence scared me.

I didn’t want to die.

I didn’t want to be invisible. I didn’t want to not be able to do things. I wanted to be around the people I loved.

I wanted to be here.

The irony is…I’ve grown up into someone who constantly says “I’ll do it tomorrow” or “I’m not ready”. I stopped doing what I was here for and I started acting like a ghost - someone that exists in the room but doesn’t ever really show themselves.

This was all witnessed during my nidra practice - a lot came through for me to see.

If you’re like me, you’re not fully doing what you stayed here to do. You’re not fully showing up and letting yourself be seen.

You’ve developed this massive belief that if you hide just enough and do just enough - you’ll be happy enough and you’ll avoid this death.

This death is happening to your Soul at real levels when you hide in the shadows.

This death is as real as the physical death.

Today’s Nidra practice was really cool. It was like a well sprung open for me and I connected how I used to. I changed my practice schedule months ago and this has drastically affected the way I’m able to witness myself (hint - it’s not at all, I’ve been doing it at bed zzzzz) as d I’ve felt this blankness this has brought with it.

But, today I had so much come through, including a physical healing that was earlier assisted by Amy Giordani using a physical massage to help break my fascia free. By doing that, I think it made for an extra special practice.

Our fascia becomes stuck. And, believe me, I was stuck.

Freeing your physical body tension, frees your energy body. When your energ body is free, who knows what will happen.

Movement is crucial for us to stay connected to Source, not because of what the results look like but because it’s our fuel in ways you can only understand when you experience it.



(a nidra lover who yells “YOGA NIDRA” at podcasts when someone asks for a tangible method of healing)


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