When I was younger I HATED sleeping in my room by myself. I would sneak and creep into my brother’s room (who had 2 single beds, by the way) and get kicked out aggressively enough that I learned to stop eventually. I still laugh at how quickly my presence could set him off. It was hard to resist.
Then I would sneak into my parents room and make a bed on the floor next to my mom’s side. They weren’t too over the moon about me being there either, and to be quite frank, neither was I. My dad would wake up to a blaring radio station (an AM station….static, fuzz, auction reports, and cattle prices…not to mention terrible speakers). He would use this aerosol deodorant that smelled like a chemical extinction. I held my breath the entire time, sometimes I would evacuate while holding my breath just so I could breathe again). This had a smell that even a pillow couldn’t mask. I tried breathing into a pillow underneath blankets but you couldn’t escape it.
I never really understood why I was so scared. It seemed like everyone else was fine. And why was it that I felt ok if someone else was around, even if they were fast asleep and going to lay a whooping on me when they wake up (please know I laugh at this, it is not a trauma for me. I gave as good as I got, if not more).
Then I figured it out when I started practicing Reiki and mediumship would come into the session. I could feel I wasn’t alone…but, I was supposed to BE alone. I was the only one in the room. But…I wasn’t. I could feel the energies of what’s beyond the veil in subtler states. I could feel a presence.
Sometimes, as I got older, I could see things dancing in the shadows but have never fully figured out if that was just my imagination. As I grew older, and I learned more and more about the world (also watched horror movies) I was more scared. I would be scared even if I was in bed with my husband. I would lay awake, eyes wide open wondering if he could defend me in case of a ghost attack. I often thought it would be a loss and suffered that we would both die but prayed we wouldn’t.
This was many nights.
When I began practicing energy work, I became wayyyyyyy less anxious. I was able to feel in control of what could and could not be in my energy, and I trusted my ability to communicate with what I couldn’t see.
When my son was little, he started to wake up screaming. He was screaming at the top of his lungs and pointing to the middle of the room, saying “I want it gone, I want that out of here” and his vision cut off mid-room. You know….like someone or something was there. I could feel it. It happened for some time. It felt like once a week, and maybe for 4 or 5 times but my mind is fuzzy when it comes to this.
I was helpless. Like all the things I had learned and taught myself, I forgot. I was also scared. I had never had this reaction (that I remember) as a child, and I was scared for him to be in there but pretended I wasn’t so he wouldn’t be scarred for life.
During my reiki level 2 training, I was supposed to ask someone if I could do a distance reiki session on them. I’m sure I didn’t forget to do this, I really just felt so ashamed for anyone thinking I believed in this stuff, that I didn’t ask.
When it came time to practice using the distance technique on a person, I told her that I didn’t have anyone and we decided to do a room clearing instead.
This is why I say when you follow the crumbs and listen to your heart, you end up exactly where you need to be.
She asked me if I had any rooms that I thought held heavy energy.
I scanned my home in my head (I was this disconnected from what was going on…) and landed into his room. That was the one we needed to do.
She showed me the steps to move beyond the logic of thinking and into the land of energy, no time, no space.
I had no idea what to expect but I soon saw what he had been seeing. A black vortex in the center of his room. It wasn’t scary to me in the clearing but it wasn’t budging either.
We both worked silently for around ½ an hour. For those of you who do distance, you’ll know that this is a LONGGGG time when working with distance. I didn’t know at the time.
When we were complete, my teacher asked me if I saw what she saw. I did. She also told me that it was a long time and confirmed to me that the room was clear.
I had already felt it. I felt it dissipate.
Spirit and subtle energy love children. They love children because of the brain state that they are in. It allows them to see without “seeing” through the eyes of logic or retained knowledge. They see through pure eyes and feel through the heart.
This was the biggest surprise and biggest gift of my level 2 training. I am pretty certain that I learned everything I needed to know from a heart integration in that practice.
Since then, I’ve certified numerous level 2 practitioners and have had our own incredible and moving experiences that have been just as transformational as my own.
I never thought empty spaces could be so interesting, but where there is space, there is potential.