AND HOW IT’S USED AS A COPING MECHANISM TO KEEP YOU SAFE FROM LOVE
Being a woman who endures is seen as a desired trait in our patriarchal society. It means - here is a woman, who will be and do, all the things you need her to be and do, without asking anything in return. It means that she has foregone her innate right to receive and is working past, and through, any intuition she was born with.
A woman who endures is seen as strong, but from an energetic standpoint, she has made herself extremely weak, easily controlled and manipulated by her own desire to seem like she has it all together. All you have to do is question whether she can do something and she will, by all means necessary, do that thing, even if it wears her physically to the point of becoming ill. Which is what we are seeing in our society right now. Many middle aged women are becoming incredibly ill. Ones that look after their body and health. It doesn’t make sense to us on the surface, but I’ll do my best to explain what’s happening in the subtle bodies.
Women who endure are using this perceived strength as a coping mechanism to keep them safe from love. If they can do, be, and achieve it all, that means that you have little value to them and they hope that they have more than enough value to you, making them indispensable. This is a way of earning love - proving your worth.
But not only that, it’s also a way of taking away love, turning away from intimacy and connection to avoid the pain that they know too well and have had enough of. It’s their way of staying safe and apart from rejection.
HERE'S WHY IT DOESN'T WORK
You still crave love.
You still crave being taken care of.
You crave, more than anything, to be understood.
But, YOU are the one not understanding yourself.
Everyone else can see you.
You are very obvious.
Everything that you want contradicts how you act.
You are a walking, living, breathing paradox if you slowed down long enough to really feel. Being separate from the truth of who you are can cause a lot of anxiety, anger and frustration.
It results in controlling, controlling, and controlling - at all costs.
SIGNS YOU ARE AN ENDURER
You Can Take More Than Anyone
You want everyone to see that you can take more. Everything is a competition, even how much pain you can take. This can show up in your even inside your yoga class. I once had the privilege of teaching a couple that were both endurers. They would push, push, push - to the point of frustration, judgment and even small explosions of frustration when enduring was too much. They would want the whole class, and myself, to see that they could take more and that it was too easy for them. This was how they found their worth. I must endure to be loved.
You Hide Your Pain
You may even hide it so well that it’s hidden from you. You crack jokes when you’re uncomfortable instead of setting boundaries around yourself that would keep you respected and safe. You endure their disrespect because you believe you have to. You believe if you were to say anything that you would be rejected, seen as a fool, and everyone would go on their merry way without you. This is the price you have to pay to be here. You must put yourself behind everyone else. I must endure to be accepted.
You Never Ask For Anything
You pride yourself on this trait. It is how you received love as a child. She wants for nothing. She’s so easy to have around. That is how you earned love - by being insignificant. You are a background player. You go to great lengths to stay out of the spotlight, it’s dangerous when they look at you. You move silently in the background of everyone's awareness, unconsciously craving to be noticed, acknowledged, seen. You make sure the world keeps turning for everyone in your life without them even having to ask. That’s your superpower. You can read them but they can’t read you. I have to endure - someone has to hold it all together.
Women are born into this world with the properties of water - fluid, transparent, intuitive, gentle, yet powerful. When you embody these qualities, you are in flow with your true feminine nature, you are a force to be reckoned with.
This force has been systematically disrupted and destroyed by our society and disassembled by ourselves.
You were born a shapeshifter, able to read any room and know what you need to do to find love and be accepted, but somewhere along the way - love hurt you. You decided that, in order to keep yourself safe and away from that pain, you would endure. You would make yourself so cold that no one would want to get close, or you would make yourself so useful that they couldn’t do without you. You made yourself repel love.
Love Is Beautiful
And, you're missing out.
When we deny ourselves such a crucial part of our human experience, we deny ourselves the opportunity to fully feel.
When we deny ourselves the opportunity to fully feel, we become disconnected from the emotions and desires that are harbored within our energy bodies, making their way into our physical bodies in order to be expressed.
Our physical bodies are capable of releasing some of these locked emotions through physical movement, but the imprint of wanting to be acknowledged and seen will still reside within us, until we do.
You can’t escape this life without paying some sort of price for not fully feeling.
It will show up in the form of cancer, broken bones, digestive issues, throat issues, lung issues, etc.
You can find it reflected through the physical self, asking to be felt, even if it is just in the form of physical pain. What we disconnect from finds its way to the surface.
You can use your body’s physical ailments to reconnect to what you’re really feeling. I know it can be a long road back to being fully human again, and there are great guides like the Louise Hay book - How to Heal Your Body, to help you find the source of your physical symptom.
There is an underlying emotional cause for every single one of your physical pains right down to the way your scars heal. When you open up to observing what is happening in your physical body, you may find your way back to the subtler layers of self that you deemed unsafe so long ago.
The pathway back is fluid, transparent, intuitive, gentle, and yet so powerful. You were born to do the work of the feminine, but choose to find reprieve in the masculine nature of doing.
Slow down, get uncomfortable with yourself, and ask yourself what you’re feeling or even why you continue to do what you do. This is the unraveling of your programming and the journey to becoming fully human.
You are flowing, abundant water, not rigid, stuck, and cold like ice.
You are the source of the love you crave
With love, she rises,
M
