Avoidance - The Other Side
The coping mechanism of avoidance is damaging to relationships and people in ways you might not think about.
When you avoid confrontation, you are not just overlooking your own accountability to a situation, you are asking the other person to pretend with you, that it doesn’t exist either. This is challenging for the other person, it is essentially asking them to put their own feelings aside so that you do not have to confront the emotions that come with saying you’re sorry and owning the fact that you have hurt someone, whether intentionally or not. Avoidance is choosing to continue the pain for the other person while you receive the ultimate benefit of not being responsible for your own actions. Avoidance is holding onto the the illusion of perfectionism.
You are not avoiding anything. They remember, you remember. And nothing has ever been healed in this fake reality you’re creating. The other person receives the energy that they are not important and that their thoughts and feelings on the situation are invalid. This leads that person to second guessing their value in life.
It’s a spiral.
There are options, uncomfortable ones, but it’s an option that heals everyone.
Say you’re sorry, embrace being imperfect, own what you do. End the cycle that you’re trying to avoid by dragging it on indefinitely
Although it may seem like what you’re doing is easiest for both parties. You are creating irreparable damage to your relationship.
