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I Suck At Meditating

Do you ever feel like you suck at meditating? me, too.

If we take away the right and wrongs, the do's and don'ts, all we would be left with is this - do nothing. This is a technique that is practiced by the Buddhists and offers you the freedom to allow the mind to wander, but, not become the mind. That's it. That's all.

Sounds simple? Let's complicate it for a minute and look at what's going on behind the surface of your meditation.

The mind is a worker bee. Its existence is only validated when it is doing, so, it is constantly doing. But, what exactly is it doing? We don't often take time to sit with ourselves in external silence and body stillness. When we do, we are met with the perfect opportunity to simply observe the mind and what it is doing for us all day long.

What I like most about this technique is how it offered me the freedom to really be.

Here's how I meditate, right or wrong, this is what I do and I have had some incredible insights that are gifts from the Universe:

First thing in the morning, upon waking, I get up and head to the washroom. After I'm done, I come back to bed and lay down in a position that is supportive and comfortable enough for 15 minutes. (I set a timer to track time)

Once I lay down, I take a big breath in, filling both lungs, and then I let it all go. Sometimes this is loud, sometimes this is quiet. I can usually tell how my energy level will be from the capacity of my breath.

After I have settled in, I close my eyes and silently say to myself - do nothing

I begin to watch the behaviour of my mind. Sometimes it will try to hide away and avoid this spotlight, but it always comes back online. I keep repeating - do nothing.

For 15 minutes, no matter how many times I've watched myself be pulled away into the middle of my thoughts, into the story of the mind, I continue to say - do nothing. This brings me back to my seat of watching.

Sometimes this is the easiest thing I have ever done and sometimes it feels unbearable. When it becomes unbearable, the mind will have you believe that your body can't stay still any longer. It will create an itch, an ache, anything to move and distract the mind from this place. I always try to breathe through these distractions and to stay with the mantra - do nothing. But, if this is not working, I give myself the permission to come back to it another time.

When it's easy, it's really, really amazing. This practice has given me answers that were eluding my thinking mind. It allows my mind to expand beyond what I know into the source of consciousness that is uncaged by the minds logic and analytics. It can be inspiring, soothing, calming, nourishing and refreshing.

I find this practice of Do Nothing, one that I can take anywhere with me and into any situation, meditating or not, if I need to find inner peace or emotional resiliency.

No matter how you get there, silent meditation can be challenging. This is the true meditation of withdrawal. Pull in the senses, internalize them. Shift away from the external pull and see the mind, experience the body and this moment.


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