We've all been there.
And, it's so friggen frustrating.
All the repeat cycles - different events, different storylines, different people - same outcome. Ugh. Gross. Puke.
But, now you're here.
So, you must already know, that there is some role you play in the repetition of the same stories in your life.
Even grosser, right? I know. I want to blame everything!
But, here comes the best part!
When you start to understand why this BS keeps happening, you can slowwwwww these moments down.
Healing is a long journey, not one that you have to feel guilty or ashamed of, for not doing it quickly, or sooner. You’ve arrived right ON TIME.
What’s underneath the sabotage?
Why do I always show up late?
Why do I always say I’ll do things, and not do them?
Why do I always pick the relationships that steal from me? etc. etc.
Under every repeat cycle is a limiting belief system.
A belief system that looks to be reinforced through your external reality.
If it’s a type of guy (or person) you choose - you find him based on intuitive flags that tell you he’s attractive. But, he’s only attractive because he’s going to break your worth, and reinforce your belief system that this is all you’ll ever get, this is all there is, and in some really messed up way...........this is comfortable. It's familiar.
What about showing up late or not doing what you say?
Oh man, do you ever set unrealistic deadlines or plan way too much into one day? Or say you’ll do something, and then not do it.
Under all that is the unconscious craving to feel like shit.
To be punished or shamed from external and internal sources.
Reinforcing, over and over again - I’m not enough, I’ll never be enough, and feeding the need to feel shame.
HOW do we stop this?
Awareness. Awareness is almost everything on the path to healing.
We spend over 90% of our day operating from body memory. Which means, you’re only doing what you KNOW. You’re not doing anything different, and that comes right down to making the same familiar choices, even though the situations change.
When we become aware of why we’re making choices, we have the freedom to CHOOSE. And, don’t get me wrong, you might still choose the crap feelings, but at least you’ll know why it keeps happening.
The next step is liberation.
Taking the uncomfortable route. Making the harder choice (which will end up easier in the long run, but man, it's hard!).
Here is where real transformation happens.
A lot of us get stuck at awareness. We tell ourselves that each situation is different, or the ultimate lie - there is no other way.
There’s always another choice.
It’s choosing to evaluate how you’re feeling, why you’re feeling this way, what would you normally do (how would that end up), and what can you do different.
The different part is where the discomfort rolls in. You're choosing a brand new path, something that is SO unfamiliar. But, it only stays unfamiliar for a short time, not like the long term suffering you’re used to from doing the SAME THING over and over.