I thought I closed that door a long time ago.
As a little girl, I used to move room to room in search of comfort in the night. I would sneak into my brothers room, my parents room and finally, found solace at the edge of my bedroom with my door open, where my red carpet met the brown carpet of the hallway. I would make a bed there and find sleep for the night. Peaceful, and not “alone”.
I hated sleeping or being in the dark by myself. It was terrifying and no one could understand. I was scared of everything.
As an adult I began to understand what it was I was running from. It was a connection to the “other” side that I could feel but had no idea what it was. I always felt a presence in the room with me that I couldn’t see, and sometimes, when I did see it, I would want to shrivel inside myself. I felt better when other people were there. I could feel their presence and overlook the others.
In my 20’s, I saw a psychic who could tell me what it was that I was experiencing and, how I could stop it. She was really excited for me and wanted me to expand on what I was experiencing and grow from it. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want these feelings. They left me vulnerable and afraid. That night, as the shadows gathered on the roof, I said “I don’t want to see or feel you anymore”. And, that was it. For a very long time.
We have since had other experiences with the boys, things that cannot be explained rationally, but nothing has ever happened to ME since….until yesterday.
I don’t consider myself a medium, I tell my clients - I am not a medium. I have had the odd experience in my energy practice with a close grandma showing up in energy but nothing like what I experienced yesterday. Yesterday was different. It was a full blown connection, and it wasn’t scary at all. It was comforting. It was powerful. It was beautiful.
Here she is - absolutely heartbroken, after experiencing the sudden and tragic loss of her partner, the love of her life. I hugged her and she hugged me. I felt her heart plug in. You know the kind of hug that is really a hug. She gives those.
I trusted that our connection was meant to be and that I would be given the right information that she needed. I have never experienced pain like this. If I had to pull it from my logical mind, I am terribly ill equipped, but I trusted. I trusted that she was here and we were here for a reason. Leading up to her coming I had a download, an inkling, that something different was about to happen. I could feel a door opening inside myself that I had closed a long time prior. But, I wasn’t scared this time.
During the session, he came. He came and it wasn’t even weird. It was like it was supposed to happen. It wasn’t even until halfway through the session when I said - “I don’t do this”. This was very unusual, but also very familiar.
This session was one of the most powerful sessions I have been witness to. He wanted her to know so badly that she was loved. In the session there were many intimate moments shared and exchanged and understandings that didn’t make sense began to make sense. It was a cathartic experience. Although, nothing could be changed about what happened, a re-connection was formed. It was beautiful. It wasn’t scary. It was liberating.
She is the holder of her truth but has given me permission to share the experience as she believes in the healing of sharing.
I will share with you this. They are not gone forever. They have shapeshifted, become lighter. They are more present than they ever were. They show up for you through synchronicities and symbolism. Sometimes you can hear them, sometimes you might even think you see them. They will reunite with you in your dreams when the mind is free of its cage to roam all of consciousness.
He sent her a deer yesterday. He wanted her to know that this deer was for her. In our session, I was hearing what I thought was “dear”, a term of endearment. But, it became clear that this was going to come as the animal. As we said goodbye, I reminded her to look for the deer.
Later that evening, she sent a message.
A deer had arrived on her walk. I had asked her in the session if she had many deer around her place and they didn’t. This was an unusual occurrence and even more unusual how the two shared space.
The deer came through shrubs to stand on the path with her, in total awareness of her. He stood there, looking calmly and directly at her. As people approached, the deer moved to the bushes again, resurfacing once they were gone - to continue the connection they were sharing. There was a peace and calm about the deer, and it felt right. This was the message.
No matter how alone we feel in this life, this human condition, we are not alone. We share consciousness with all energy. We are one.
Symbolism of the Deer:
A gentle power. Deer touch the hearts and minds of those who are wounded. Don’t be too hard on yourself, quiet the inner critic. Have faith in yourself and continue on your journey. A message of serenity, seeing between the shadows and hearing the unsaid words.